From One Parent to Another: It’s Gonna be OK

by Erin Randolph

Erin is the parent of a current Piedmont University graduate student named Jackson. This is the speech she gave when she spoke at the first Summer Orientation. She shares her family's personal experience (she was a nervous mama) and a few pieces of advice (let your student fail!). We thought our Piedmont families would enjoy what she had to say as much as we did! 

First of all, I want to extend my heartfelt congratulations to all incoming students. By choosing Piedmont to further your education, you have taken the first step in empowering yourselves to realize, and put into practice, your natural skills and talents. Furthermore, by choosing to join the culture of academic excellence that Piedmont offers, you have also accepted the challenges that will face you head-on personally, academically, socially, emotionally, and for many of you, financially.  That being said, you have made the right choice!

To give you a bit of context about me, I am a 25-year veteran music educator and will soon enter my third contract year as an assistant principal of a prominent middle school in Coweta County. I spend every day answering phone calls and emails from parents (and even some former students) asking me to provide guidance on how to make a decision about their child’s education, their social or emotional challenges, or simply asking for advice on how to get to the next achievement level without failing.

When I go to bed every night, I ask myself if I have done right by all my students and parents — even if I made them mad.  And, trust me, as an administrator, there are few days that go by when I don’t make someone mad! But at the end of every day, if I can say that I've done the best job I can for all my students and parents, then I can sleep soundly knowing I have done my job.

Now that you know a bit about my background as an educator and administrator, let me just tell you, as a parent, I’m clueless. I’m learning as I go just like the rest of you, regardless of the fact that my child will turn 22 next Wednesday.

And let me also tell you, sitting where you parents are today, just four years ago, I nearly wore my stomach into a bloody ulcer just thinking about every challenge my child could potentially face without me. Parents listen up: it’s gonna be OK.

My son Jackson wasn’t the best student in high school. He made As and Bs, an occasional C, and I won’t begin to tell you about the stress that Advanced Chemistry put on our entire family. Even the dogs needed therapy by the time he was finished with that course!

Jackson wasn’t the most popular student either. He played baseball, and was involved in a few clubs, but he wasn’t very outgoing. He has never needed to be the center of attention and has also never been willing to accept accolades when they were deserved.

When it came to looking at colleges, Jackson really only had two criteria. He needed a baseball coach to see him and want him on their team, and he wanted his degree of interest to be offered. Seems easy, right? Well, it wasn’t.

When he was young, parents and friends told us that if Jackson ever wanted to be seen by a college coach, that he would have to play travel ball. So, starting at 10 years old, he played travel baseball. And when I say he played travel ball, I do mean — and some of you parents out there can relate — the entire family played travel ball. For years we shuffled from hotel to hotel, putting millions of miles on beat-up pickup trucks and Honda Accords.

We wrote papers in the bleachers and studied for tests during lightning delays. And because nearly every weekend we had baseball on Sundays, we couldn’t attend traditional church services. Therefore, we provided most of our spiritual guidance simply by teaching Jackson how to be a good teammate and brother to all of those around him on and off the field.

All of this is to say that sending my quiet, reserved child, who I was truly afraid wouldn’t know how to advocate for himself off to college made me a very nervous mama. But Piedmont answered the call.

Jackson was offered a position on the Piedmont Lions baseball team. He just completed his fourth year of NCAA eligibility as a senior. He held the positions of catcher, designated hitter, and relief pitcher throughout the course of his collegiate athletic career.

Academically, Jackson has no less thrived in the classroom, exceeding every one of our expectations as parents. Jackson decided very early on that he wanted to go into the field of exercise science and become an athletic trainer.

This decision stemmed from the still long-running joke throughout his life as a baseball player: “If it’s gonna happen to anyone on that baseball field, it’s gonna happen to Jackson Randolph!” Whether it was a concussion, a hit-by-pitch, a hole in the turf, or a passed ball from the pitcher, if somebody was gonna get hit or hurt — it was my kid!

Therefore, Jackson has committed to exercise science as a field of study, and after only just finishing his fourth year of college, he is already halfway through graduate school earning his Master’s of Athletic Training degree. He will graduate next May with both his undergraduate and graduate degrees, all while also having played four years of full-time collegiate baseball.

Jackson has earned the prestigious “Teammate of the Year” award that is voted on by the entire baseball team each year- and it was unanimous.  This award was earned for his continuous support and eagerness to help his team and brothers on and off the field.

Jackson was also recently inducted into the College of Health Sciences Honor’s Society for his GPA, leadership in the field, and commitment to service. Currently, Jackson is looking forward to a career in injury prevention and rehabilitation of high school and college athletes, as well as anyone, of any age, for whom he can assist in bettering their life without pain from injury.

Now this is certainly not intended to be a brag session about my own child.  Remember a few minutes ago, when I told you that four summers ago, as I sat in a chair like you, exactly in the stage of life that you parents are today, I nearly developed a hole in my gut? Well, not only has Piedmont cured my own parental anxiety, but has provided every single tool and resource for Jackson to become an asset in his field of study, a supportive member of society, a committed and hardworking athletic trainer and dedicated injury rehabilitation practitioner, and hopefully in the future- a loving and loyal husband and father.

This university has done this for our son. For our family.  Even the dogs.

You have made the right choice. Parents, thank you for supporting your children over the course of the last 18 years.

Students, you’re in the right place, and I will tell you what I’ve told countless students over the last few years: if you fail at Piedmont, it's because you didn’t utilize all the amazing resources Piedmont provides. Reach out to academic counselors, seek help from the mental health specialists employed by the university when you start feeling overwhelmed and stressed, request a mentor, obtain guidance from your RAs and coaches, get involved in clubs and extracurricular activities, and start growing personally and professionally as you dig in, work hard, and realize your potential.

Remember the old adage “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again?” Heed those words because Piedmont will help you every step of the way.

In parting, I have a few pieces of valuable advice that I would like to pass along. These tidbits of guidance were passed on to me by former college parents, coaches, professors and alumni, and they are my gift to you.

• Show grace. As students and as parents, remember there are multiple sides to every story. Things that seem to be too good to be true often are. Things will not always go your way. Remember also, you never know what is going on in someone else’s life. As a student and as a parent, whether in the classroom or in the bleachers, be graceful and empathetic always.

• Parents, let your students fail. It teaches accountability and humility, both of which are strong attributes of good humans. There are no successful adults contributing to society today who have not ever experienced their share of failure. Provide your student with love and support, and give them the tools to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and move on with integrity.

• Parents, also set your students up for success by providing them with new supplies. This should go without saying but don’t rely on your 18-year-old student to go to Walmart alone and purchase the proper items for organization. There are just so many flavors of Pop Tarts and beef jerky that a student needs to survive. Use your experience to guide them. This is especially important for promoting good time management. Get your student a great planner, new pens and pencils, an awesome backpack. This is an exciting new life full of adventures and challenges, so do what you are able to let them have a great start!

• This next piece of advice was a lesson to myself as well: allow your student to practice self-advocacy and independence by solving their own problems. whether it be when communicating with their RA about damage to their dorm, acquiring information about financial aid, requesting academic counseling, or submitting dietary requests in the dining hall, let your child use their voice and learn how to reach out for support.

I know it’s difficult sometimes but promote and value your child’s proposed career path. Lifetime happiness and fulfillment will ALWAYS trump the monetary value of their checking account.  Let them try and fail and they will become stronger individuals for it.

• Finally, families, please get involved as much, and to whatever degree, as your child is comfortable.There are a multitude of opportunities to become part of the Piedmont family. I have found that Jackson was much more comfortable knowing I was still part of the Piedmont community, even though I was two hours away. My son has grown into a very strong-willed, independent and intentional student and young man, and while we gave him the room to explore his own freedoms and make his own mistakes, knowing we have been part of the culture and family here at Piedmont has provided stability and a sense of security for him.

It has been my honor to speak to you today.  I hope that something I have said has made a difference to you, as a parent or as a student, and I wish you ALL the best of luck as you embrace and immerse yourselves in this next phase of your lives together.

Safe travels home and have a wonderful rest of your summer! Thank you and Go Lions!!